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The Other F Word

The Other F Word


What would you do if you weren’t afraid of anything?

Fear is and has always been the greatest enemy known to mankind. Trying to conquer fear is perhaps the greatest challenge you’ll ever face in life. When Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” he was poetically explaining that the emotion of fear, paralyzes us instead of the reality of fear, being the root cause of anxiety, stress, and unhappiness.

Overcoming fear is critical to your success. You can probably tell that the future belongs to the risk-takers, not the security chasers. Life is interesting in the sense that, the more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will find what you’re looking for.

Developing habits of courage and unshakable self-confidence brings a whole new world of possibilities.

Fortunately, the habit of courage can be learned just as any other habit is learned — through repetition. We don’t often like repetition but it’s a great teacher. To build courage, we must constantly face and overcome our fears to build up the kind of courage that will enable us to deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life. The starting point in overcoming fear and developing courage is to look at the factors that cause us to be afraid.

Most fear starts in childhood.

During childhood, we may have received some disparaging criticism that didn’t align with positive affirmations. Well-intentioned, parents, teachers, and mentors are often too critical of children. Here’s what you may have heard, “What is wrong with you?” How could you be so irresponsible?” “Why didn’t you do better?”

This can cause us to develop two major types of fear:

The fear of failure, which causes us to think “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”
The fear of rejection, which causes us to think “I have to, I have to, I have to.”
Another thing is that fear is caused by ignorance.

When we have limited information, our doubts overrule us. Ignorance causes us to fear change, fear the unknown, and keeps us from trying anything new or different. Think about the parts of your life where you have no fear at all because you know exactly what you’re doing. You feel competent and completely capable of handling whatever happens.

With all the recent events in our communities, our country, and the world, it’s clear that ignorance breeds fear. If we only took the time to learn more, educate ourselves, and understand what we may not know, we would have the courage to change. The more we know, the less we fear. Knowledge is power.

Here’s some thoughts on how to master your fears:

  1. Change your mindset, think positive. Negative self-talk can be damaging. What comes out of our mouth is life-changing. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Be very careful about self-talk.
  2. Write down your fears. What exactly are you afraid of? Sit down with pen and paper and think about that question. Write those things down or you can even take notes on your phone.
  3. Write out the worst possible outcome of each fear and/or situation that you identified. What is the worst possible thing that can happen because of this problem? Will you lose your money? Relationships? Job? Prestige? Write it down.
  4. Be willing to accept the worst possible outcome of your fears. This will set you free because it will no longer hold you captive.
  5. Do it afraid. Have an accountability partner to discuss your fears and hold you accountable for moving past them. Make sure you have a plan in place to move forward.

I ask you this question, what would you do if you had no fears?

Marianne Williamson said, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. So, what fears are you going to face? How long have your dreams been idle due to fear?

Cheers to making the shift,


Get Out of Your Own Way

Get Out of Your Own Way

Two weeks ago, a friend contacted me and said she wanted to leave her current job. She said she couldn’t take it anymore. As I listened to my friend tell me about what she wanted to do with her life, I fell in love with her dream a lot.  So much so, that I found myself sitting up straighter, listening attentively, nodding along and smiling accordingly.

It happens all the time in these early conversations. I get excited when someone is on the path to where she’s meant to be. There’s nothing more exhilarating than watching possibility unfold.

My friend went on for several minutes, animatedly describing what she wanted to do next and how it would feel to get there. She’d been thinking about this for a while – you could tell. It wasn’t a new thing…it had been well planned. My obvious interest gave her permission to keep sharing and her enthusiasm grew as she added details to the idea, allowing herself to expand her vision.  Since we were on the phone, I was scribbling notes as she talked – adding nuances of my own to what she’d shared. I could literally picture her in this dream – one that was very clear as to what she is meant to do.

Mindset in Action!

Mindset in Action!

Before I pop out of bed each morning, I make a conscious choice. Several, actually. I’m not talking about what to have for breakfast, what to wear, my commute, or even what workout I’m going to tackle. The first thing I decide is how my day is going to be. I begin with prayer, meditation, and positive affirmations. True, we have no control over external things but we have control over the internal.

In my part of the world, traffic can be unbearable, computer systems fail, and children forget their homework at home once at school. Clients could cancel calls. Your dog could decide that today is an excellent day to barf on the carpet. All those things suck; all have happened to me. And while I can’t control what the Universe throws at me on any given day, I can control how I react by making a proactive choice about my mood, attitude, and mindset. What if today turned out to be the best, most productive day you’ve had in some time? What if you used life’s curveballs as fuel for creativity and growth to accomplish magnificent things? What if you decided that no matter what, you’d look for the good, although it may be near impossible, seek out the positive, and encourage others to do the same, perpetuating a virtuous cycle? Energy begets energy. Positivity, happiness, and fulfillment can be yours. It starts with a choice. It begins with you. So, what will you choose today?


Ready for a New Career?

Ready for a New Career?

Ready for a new career? Consider this.

It’s a new year and a number of you are in the market for a new career.  If you’re among the 70% of Americans that don’t like your job, I ask that you take a moment for some introspection.  Think about what you really want and take inventory before you submit that resume.

Over the last few months, I’ve been talking to a number of folks about career transformation and at first I couldn’t figure out why. It started to all make sense when I learned that for the past three years, the first six days of the New Year has been the highest job-search day.  In fact, that day is so big that it attracts 70% more searches than average! Apparently, once we return to work after the holidays, it takes only two days for us to remember how much disdain we have for our jobs.

Unfortunately, it takes more than two days to find another one. So, if you haven’t landed that dream job yet, may I ask you to close the doors to Monster, Glassdoor, Linkedin, and Indeed and think about a few things before you carry on with your search.

Here me out.

If you’re like most people, you’ve begun your search by scrolling through listings on job sites looking for:

  1. A) Jobs similar to the one you have now (same company but different position, same position in a different company, etc.)
  2. B) Jobs at other employers or with titles that sound important (who doesn’twant to carry around Apple or Microsoft business cards or be a VP of something?)
  3. C) Jobs in cool locations (Manhattan, Silicon Valley, Austin, DC, etc.)

I suppose it’s a starting point, but those searches don’t scratch the surface.  They overlook something important.

Before you start that job search, you need to know exactly why you’re looking. 

You’re a problem solver and the search you do has to solve the problem you have. And not just the symptoms of the problem…the actual root cause of your unhappiness.

You have to get to/’ the root of the issue. I’m not sure there is a job search tool out there that helps us get to the heart of the issue…which boils down to this question.

What is the work you are called to do?

The question is not what you’re qualified to do. Or who will pay you the most. Or who has the coolest office space. Or the highest profile client base. The question is what are you called to do.

And to figure that out you need to ask yourself the right questions.

I’ve spent countless hours helping the women I coach think through questions like these and they’re some of the same ones I asked myself when I was changing careers. Try a few of them on for size so you can see where they lead you:


  • What am I good at?
  • What do others say that I am good at?
  • What problem do I see in the world that I want to solve (or be a part of solving)?
  • Whom do I want to serve?
  • What kind of people do I want to collaborate with?
  • Whose work do I admire enough to emulate?
  • What lights me up when I’m doing it?
  • What makes my heart race when I think about it?
  • What would I do for FREE?
  • What breaks my heart when I see it?
  • If FEAR was not a factor AT ALL, what would I want to do?
  • What activity (activities), when engaging in it (them) or thinking about it (them) brings me the MOST joy?
  • Am I ready and WILLING to do what is necessary to provide the CHANGE necessary to obtain what I think will make me happy?


The answers to these questions and others like them will start to paint a picture of the role you’re meant to play, of the contribution you could make, and what you’re really here to do.

The picture that emerges may not be clear at first…it may look more like an abstract painting but the brushstrokes will be there. You may have to use your imagination to get them to take shape. But, once they do, the vision you have won’t necessarily align with a job posted on a website. You may need to bravely pitch a role to a prospective employer or get really creative and design it yourself.

It may take more time, blood, sweat and tears than you ever thought, but if you want to truly love your work and know for sure that it matters, then this is what I suggest.

Make a bold move towards your dreams and the work you’ll love. 

You’ll know you’ve arrived when you can’t imagine doing anything else.  And that is where your job search will truly end.


If you’re in the midst of a career transition and would like to explore how my coaching process can help, you may want to apply for a free strategy session with me. I’ve opened up some extra spots this week, but they’ll go fast, so grab one right away and then be sure to fill out the application that follows so I can make sure there’s a fit. If there is, I’ll confirm the call and we’ll see if we can get you on a faster path to doing the work you’re called to do!


Design a Life You Love

Design a Life You Love

How to Design a Life You Love

One of my favorite topics of all times is living life on purpose.  But, truth be told, it’s a bit ironic for me to write this post telling you how to design a life you love when I spent most of my own life trying desperately to figure out my passions and what God has called me to do.  It was very hard to drill down into what I loved and how to best package it for success.

After spending some years as consultant and not utilizing my unique talents and gifts, I finally had enough.  Enough of living vicariously thru others that I admired, whether live and in person or virtually.  Enough of me being miserable and feeling stuck all the time. Enough pretending that I was happy when I really wasn’t.  Enough of not living my best life.  I felt deceptive.  Disappointed and disenchanted with who I had become, I wanted to live a life I loved but didn’t have the first idea what that meant. Deep down I feared that whatever it was, I had to chase it down and make it happen.

I’d been there before. Perpetually not enough. But something was different this time. In spite of my fear, I was willing to lose everything to discover who I was and become her. Even if that was a drastic departure from my present situation. Even if it seemed crazy, I wanted to live a life I truly loved.

Do you want to design a life you love? While most of us say it, and many of us make every effort to have it, it’s the reality of doing it that’s so hard. We can live a good life, but staring at a calendar trying to balance work, home, children, marriage, exercise, dinner, friendships, community commitments, and laundry, is there room for love?

Can you actually create a life you love?

Absolutely! I believe you can. Here’s the skinny: it won’t happen by chance nor overnight.  And it won’t feel all warm and fuzzy all the time. Designing a life you love doesn’t require a lot of money, a personal chef or a full-time nanny. One need only to look at the latest magazines to see that often the opposite is true.

The biggest, most powerful step to designing a life you love is action. “The distance between dreams and reality is called action.” You’ve got to put one foot in front of the other.  You’ve got to move. You’ve got to say yes. You’ve got to do the work. You’ve got to believe in yourself more than your doubts and fears, and you have to actually get to know YOU. Designing a life you love requires you to be true to yourself. It’s called authenticity.  Not easy, I know. It’s why I think being our best selves is our life’s work.

To design anything, one must take into consideration a number of factors. The same is true of your life. To be completely honest, I fumbled through this quite disastrously and only discovered the process looking back. But as hard, embarrassing and painful as it felt at times, it got me there. Here. And while I don’t know exactly where that is, I know it’s different than anywhere I’ve been before and that it feels amazing, free and totally me. And I love it. I’m hoping that maybe, somehow, this process might also help you.

If you want to design a life you love, you must process through four main areas of your life with transparency. Your:


Look back on your past experiences and write down some of the most life-changing, transformational and challenging moments or memories in your life. Include moments of success, failure, joy, sorrow, happiness and pain. With each experience, write down lessons learned and the wisdom you now carry. Don’t look back and get stuck. Remember: your past is a powerful tool. So many times we want to leave our past completely behind. This can be a mistake. Perhaps you’re embarrassed, ashamed or simply want to be totally different from who you once were, I get it, but don’t throw away your experiences. Uncover, process and accept your whole story so you can harness it to propel you into your future. There’s beauty in the details.


What makes you feel present, alive, angry, energetic, focused, grateful or sad? Your emotions are powerful indicators of the places where your heart beats strong. You have a perfect guide and chances are you’ve heard the whispers or felt the nervous pounding in your heart before. Listen to the still small voice inside you. No matter where you are, you have the power to write a better story.  Being alive and awake in your present day, paying attention to what you think, feel, and know deep in your bones – helps you discover some of the things you need to incorporate or eliminate to design a life you love.


What inspires you? What magazines or books do you read? What writer, actor, actress, song, place, blogs, color or activity activates your sense of passion and drive? Every one of those things is trying to teach you something about who you are, how you’re wired and how you can design a life you love. Use those words, role models and elements to create a vision board for where you’re going. Surround yourself with thoughts and images that inspire you to reach forward, to pursue growth and transformation into the whole person you were created to be. When you set your sights ahead with a vision in mind, even if you don’t know exactly what it means or where it’s going, you will inevitably start moving in that direction.


Once you’ve processed these four areas on paper, look for connections. Circle recurring themes you see in multiple categories. Draw thread lines where, for example, one past experience led to a present passion. Begin to explore the uniquely beautiful landscape of your life where no experience, pain, joy or passion is wasted. Follow the guide inside, that still small voice who whispers to the deep places of your soul; ignites your heart to beat out of your chest or brings goose bumps to your flesh. It knows the way. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. It simply means you’ve started the beautiful life-long work of living with your whole heart. If you want to design a life you love, the meaning has to go deep. It must have action. It must honor YOU. It must love others. Grab a sheet of paper and write some notes in each of these four areas. Connect the threads.

Remember: A life you love honors all of who you are. If you honestly think about your past, present, and possibilities you will be on track to fulfilling your destiny.  When that is coupled with a plan, purpose and power greater than yourself, you’ll have the unique recipe for designing a life you love. Again, it requires true transparency. To know yourself is worth the work that you will put into it and the sacrifices you will make.  The old adage of you only live once is fitting and you should make the best of it now.  So let go of your fears, your not-enoughs, your impersonator life, and do the work; listen to that still small voice inside you and create one of your own. You can do it. You can design a life you love!

Vision Boards

Vision Boards

Vision Boards: The Critical Catalyst for Life Transformation

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2017! I enjoy this part of the year, as many people who are goal-oriented, like myself, will review what experiences were fruitful and what results need improvement from the previous year.  I have been thinking about my own accomplishments last year and seeing the reality of my dreams. I completed a coaching program, am now a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and have launched my coaching business, empowering women to take action towards living their best life through personal development, tools, and resources. I have coached my clients to take action to write books, become public speakers, and launch their own businesses. They have made many strategic connections; partly because they created a vision board for their ideal success. I’ve worked with clients who use journals, write lists, and/or use digital tools such as the Way of Life or Any Do apps. You can read the following article for more info on digital tools. (  Each tool is effective and when used in combination, can produce amazing results. As a matter of fact, I think it’s an excellent blend as I am using a combination of tools to define my 2017 goals. Using a vision board or book at the start of the New Year helps me set an intentional stage to SEE what I would like to accomplish. I like this quote by Jason Hooper, “make your vision so plain that even a runner passing by will see and understand it.”

Vision boards have power. It’s a simple, yet powerful visualization tool that helps manifest your dreams into reality. Oftentimes, people think they are bogus but I have seen them work in the life of my clients as well as myself. Vision boards have increased in popularity over the past few years as a number of people realize that when you write the vision and make it plain, success is sure to follow. The power of what you see is what you get —can’t be reckoned with. Creating a vision board allows you to have the power to transform your life. They are a catalyst for change.

What you see is what you get

In other words, seeing is believing. Visualization is one of the most powerful mind exercises you can perform. It doesn’t guarantee success nor replace hard work but the combined efforts, can certainly help you create the life you so desire. Visualization is a well thought out method of performance improvement backed by substantial scientific, empirical research and used by successful people from a large range of fields. I’m an avid runner, and know first-hand about visualization since I use it to help me cross the finish line when I’m running marathons, half-marathons and other races. Boxing legend Muhammad Ali, used visualization techniques by seeing himself victorious and a champion long before his actual fights. He was later coined as “The Greatest” and “GOAT” – Greatest of All Times. Successful businessman and richest person in the world used visualization as a pathway to success. Bill Gates’ first business failed miserably but he had a vision of where he wanted to be in life and what he wanted to accomplish. He didn’t let failure stop him.

Before you start creating your vision board or book, I recommend being methodical by first thinking about how you want your life to be and also how you want to feel. You should first connect to your inner wisdom. Don’t only select pictures or images of things you’d like to own, as you run the risk of being selfish and not creating a space of gratitude. Visualize your next moves just like the legend Muhammad Ali and picture yourself achieving your goals.

Supplies Needed:

  • Special place to work on your board
  • Relaxing music, candles
  • Assortment of magazines, websites
  • A piece of large cardboard or binder
  • Markers, stickers, or anything else creative that you like
  • Scissors
  • Glue
  • Personal Mission statement
  • Don’t forget a picture of yourself, quotes, sayings, images
  • Events, places you want to go

So, what do you think? Will you put dreams into action and create your vision board or book? Will you make your vision plain? If you have a vision board already, will you make updates? I certainly hope so!  Vision boards are an ongoing process. Feel free to add more images as you and your ideas develop and change. Now, get to cutting and pasting your dream “SOULutions!”

To Your Success in 2017!