Author: Valerie Brown

The Other F Word

The Other F Word

 

What would you do if you weren’t afraid of anything?

Fear is and has always been the greatest enemy known to mankind. Trying to conquer fear is perhaps the greatest challenge you’ll ever face in life. When Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” he was poetically explaining that the emotion of fear, paralyzes us instead of the reality of fear, being the root cause of anxiety, stress, and unhappiness.

Overcoming fear is critical to your success. You can probably tell that the future belongs to the risk-takers, not the security chasers. Life is interesting in the sense that, the more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will find what you’re looking for.

Developing habits of courage and unshakable self-confidence brings a whole new world of possibilities.

Fortunately, the habit of courage can be learned just as any other habit is learned — through repetition. We don’t often like repetition but it’s a great teacher. To build courage, we must constantly face and overcome our fears to build up the kind of courage that will enable us to deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life. The starting point in overcoming fear and developing courage is to look at the factors that cause us to be afraid.

Most fear starts in childhood.

During childhood, we may have received some disparaging criticism that didn’t align with positive affirmations. Well-intentioned, parents, teachers, and mentors are often too critical of children. Here’s what you may have heard, “What is wrong with you?” How could you be so irresponsible?” “Why didn’t you do better?”

This can cause us to develop two major types of fear:

The fear of failure, which causes us to think “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”
The fear of rejection, which causes us to think “I have to, I have to, I have to.”
Another thing is that fear is caused by ignorance.

When we have limited information, our doubts overrule us. Ignorance causes us to fear change, fear the unknown, and keeps us from trying anything new or different. Think about the parts of your life where you have no fear at all because you know exactly what you’re doing. You feel competent and completely capable of handling whatever happens.

With all the recent events in our communities, our country, and the world, it’s clear that ignorance breeds fear. If we only took the time to learn more, educate ourselves, and understand what we may not know, we would have the courage to change. The more we know, the less we fear. Knowledge is power.

Here’s some thoughts on how to master your fears:

  1. Change your mindset, think positive. Negative self-talk can be damaging. What comes out of our mouth is life-changing. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Be very careful about self-talk.
  2. Write down your fears. What exactly are you afraid of? Sit down with pen and paper and think about that question. Write those things down or you can even take notes on your phone.
  3. Write out the worst possible outcome of each fear and/or situation that you identified. What is the worst possible thing that can happen because of this problem? Will you lose your money? Relationships? Job? Prestige? Write it down.
  4. Be willing to accept the worst possible outcome of your fears. This will set you free because it will no longer hold you captive.
  5. Do it afraid. Have an accountability partner to discuss your fears and hold you accountable for moving past them. Make sure you have a plan in place to move forward.

I ask you this question, what would you do if you had no fears?

Marianne Williamson said, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. So, what fears are you going to face? How long have your dreams been idle due to fear?

Cheers to making the shift,

Valerie